I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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