mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
