Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
