And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
