They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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