I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Found your dick twin last night
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
