Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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