He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
