Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
