She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
