Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
