If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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