I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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