he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
