You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
