sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
