Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
