I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
do herpes really smell.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
