Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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