if you like me you must not know who I am
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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