I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
