next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
