That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
