Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
