wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
