His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
