Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
