i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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