this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
