My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
