Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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