dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
