Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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