when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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