please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
