if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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