Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
