i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
