Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
