please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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