So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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