People with herpes should wear stickers.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
