Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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