Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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