Apparently you make a good broom.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He felt like a one man threesome
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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