This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
