You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
