Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
