I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
