He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
